ladies and gentlemen… the cat is partially out of the bag!!!
so we told my parents that they were going to be grandparents… or that they are grandparents?… ah, well you know.
i was actually much more nervous than i thought i would be. apparently my wife was also…
i don’t think either of us could really say for sure…
she says it’s because now there’s proof we’ve had sex… to which i make the argument, we’ve been married for eight months. i’m sure people figured, by now, we’ve succumb to temptation… cause i’m weak, and she’s a real “looker”
but for whatever reason, we were both very anxious about the breaking of the news.
we just happened to be celebrating my fathers fiftieth birthday, and had pretty much planned out how we wanted to tell him.
we’re all sitting on the deck and we give him his gift, he pulls out the book we got him and starts flipping through some of the pages. we tell him why we picked this one for him, he thanks us and starts to read a passage to himself… and then i slip the news right in there… here goes. “yeah” i said, “we’ve got one more gift for you, but you have to wait another eight months to get it”…
… right about there is the point where i anticipated there being some laughing, hugging and all around good time celebrations to break loose…
oh well… so much for my plans…
instead, i give my little line about “eight months” and no one does anything… they don’t even look at us! what?!?
did they not hear me?
i reiterate what i’ve said…
are they purposefully ignoring? or hoping it’s all a dream? what is the flipping deal here?
i happen to notice my sister has finally connected the dots and is starting to tear up and laugh. phew, at least someone gets it! her boyfriend and my parents still remain unaware of the news…
heather and i exchange nervous glances right about… here…
my parents are still paying attention to the book, my sisters boyfriend is giving my sister an “i still don’t get it” kind of look… and all my sister can say is “eight months!” over and over…
it clicks with my dad, he looks up at us and asks “are you pregnant?”
we give a confused nod, yes…
… and THERE is what we’ve been waiting two minutes for! all the “congratulations!” and the “i can’t believe its”, the hugging, the kissing, my heart resumes beating, and all is well.
it really was… unique… the way it all happened.
on that day, my parents found out they’re grandparents, and i found out they can be kind of clueless… or really clueless.
i suppose i’ll just say this, i don’t think it’s possible to give that kind of news and not get a great story from it.
families are families.
and who doesn’t love that?
it hasn’t even been a week since we found out we were pregnant.
it’s been five days.
and in those five days, i’ve already seen the effects of the pregnancy in one specific form… hotdogs.
we’ve had hot dogs for dinner three times, in five days. (not to mention the two days she had hotdogs for lunch) pregnancy cravings are apparently real. and nathans is reaping the benefits.
anybody know how often the menu changes with pregnancy cravings?
no big deal, just curious.
we’ll stick with hotdogs as long as she wants, but i’m definitely keeping my fingers crossed for mexican food on the next round.
¡Hurra, es una celebración ansias el embarazo!
how shall i begin?
my wife… have i mentioned i have a wife? she’s brilliant, in every way. seriously.
anywhoo, my wife has been baby-crazed for as long as i can remember.
it’s at her core to be a mom.
it’s just who she is.
and so whenever we went into a store, we just naturally made our way to the baby section.
we’d look at baby shirts, baby shorts, baby suits, baby dresses, baby sunglasses, baby hats, baby swimsuits, baby socks, baby shoes, baby toys, baby blankets, baby food, baby bottles, baby monitors, baby wipes, diaper bags, diapers, baby powder, strollers, high chairs, baby spoons, baby food, pacifiers, changing tables, cribs, baby mobiles, baby swings and some kind of boob suckers for moms that looked to be the most unpleasant thing anyone could have ever invented… apparently they’re for milk or something… ouch.
and eventually we’d make our way over to the book section.
she’d find four or five right away, on any given topic, that looked like good reads.
and tucked away in a corner, were the “dad books”
now, may i just ask… who the heck writes these books?
are they written by certified dads?
because i’ve tried to read a few of them and i’ve got to say… i’m not nearly as interested in colostrum as these writers seemed to be. they’ll spend whole chapters on the topic. a whole chapter! how do you fill up a whole chapter about… that?!?
look, i’m not trying to be rude. please believe me. i feel like the whole pregnancy process is one of the most awesome and fulfilling things anyone can be a part of. just thinking about the implantation process, alone, fills me with wonder (as sarcastic as that sounded, i was actually being serious. its pretty incredible)
i feel like there are more important things i could be reading about, to prepare me for the next several months. for instance, how to cope with my wifes new super-human sense of smell. what is that about?
anyways, this is me committing to do my part, in educating future fathers-to-be, by posting any piece of advice i feel will be pertinent.
i know, how noble of me, right?
p.s. for those of you men who are still in the dark on “the wonderful world of colostrum”… here you go
i roll over, open one eye and give her a tired smile.
“hey,” she asks, “can we go to the store today so i can get another pregnancy test?” my face, obviously, reveals what i’m thinking… what do you mean “another”?
apparently she’s already taken four.
apparently they were all positive.
apparently we’re pregnant.
i expected this sort of news to terrify me a little more than it did.
i mean, pregnant? how can we be pregnant?
we’re so young!
i don’t have any matching flannel pajama sets with the pockets on the shirt. none of my shoes have tassels. and neither of us own a briefcase… so how can we be pregnant?
these are the kinds of thoughts i expect myself to be having. a george banks style rant that gets comedically faster and faster until it ends in me panting and passing out and… none of that ever happens.
instead i’m only able to think in single word thoughts like baby…pregnant… and father.
i’m a dad… a dad?… what?
i’m not overwhelmed. i’m not stunned either. stunned would make me feel numb or dazed, and i don’t feel that way at all.
i feel happy.
i feel charged and excited. not like in a hyper way though… more like a down to business, rocky IV getting ready for the big fight, i’ve gotta go make something of myself, kind of way. and it’s gotta be something big. something that’ll take care of everything for that kid. every cute outfit we see or whatever the crazy new toy is, he’s gonna have… or she…